The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
