i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
