she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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