just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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