Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
