i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
