I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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