Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
