No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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