i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
