surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My day in three words: secret purse cake
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
