why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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