I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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