hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
