so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
