Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
