And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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