his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
