Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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