Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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