She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
