Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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