my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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