he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
