Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm really busy with my period
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