mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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