is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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