so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
