Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
