my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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