so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
