doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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