just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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