The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is Oprah even human
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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