I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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