i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
