Me. At least after what I've been through.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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