Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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