john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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