and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
