mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to stick my p in your. b.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
