with your own penis?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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