I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
