I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
