It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
