Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
