I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
