Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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