My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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