your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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